As
some of you may have noticed, I went on a long hiatus from this blog.
During that time, I ran a 10k in the spring, which was a huge
milestone; however, shortly afterwards my life turned upside down.
Life became complicated. The running stopped. The thrill was lost --
but not for good!
The
intention of this blog post is not to focus on the tailspin of last
year's journey, but instead, weave a tale of charting a path, setting
sail, being knocked off course, and getting back up again. Never let
the rocks of life sink your ship! Sometimes, you just have to get up
and stop drowning in your own defeat, patch the hole, and start over
again.
As
I rode the high of self accomplishment from finishing several 5k
races, breaking personal best records, and finally conquering the
10k, I felt unstoppable. I was healthy. I felt strong and fit for the
first time in years. Stress from my work situation that plagued me
for months was not great but it was tolerable. At least I had
running, which was an excellent distraction and tension reliever. My
sails were full of wind, and I was quickly making progress toward
achieving a half marathon which I never dreamed was possible.
Unfortunately,
as we all know, life has a way of changing our plans. My ship found
itself in the midst of a storm and was mercilessly thrown against the
rocks of life. I hooked the rocks so sharply that they ensnared me
for months, nearly drowning me beneath the fury of the surrounding
waves. Shortly after completing the 10k, I came down with a terrible
flu which was followed by a severe case of bronchitis. The illnesses
effectively forced me out of the running world for a good two months.
Also, the stress of my difficult job finally drained me physically
and caused anxiety problems and heart issues. My doctor told me to
slow down, make some changes, and take care of myself -- so I did!
Step
1: Be paralyzed in the fact that you lost your way, struck rocks, and
are sinking. If you find yourself on the same journey, skip this
step. Everyone will hit rocks eventually. I was stuck on the rocks of
pity and sorrow for far too long. Finally, with a lot of prayer to a
God who is faithful and is forgiving of His children for being self
reliant and hard headed, He helped me through the first step of
re-charting my map, setting new goals, and getting the ol' ship
sailing again.
Step
2: Patch the hole. When I finally realized I was quickly going
nowhere by being angry with the Father about the whole "life is
unfair" situation, I began the first step of recovery. I patched
the holes. I finally listened to God who promised to hear my cries
and relied on Him for relief (Psalm 6:8,9). He began the process of
hole patching and healed me spiritually. Next, I took care of myself
and patched the self worth and attitude-needs-an-adjustment holes in
my ship. I shed all responsibilities except for the most necessary
ones unapologetically; and, as a person who constantly worries about
making others happy, this was probably the hardest step. I changed
jobs to one with less demands. Finally, every hole was patched; I
could finally start bailing water.
Step
3: Sail again. Okay, maybe this was the hardest step. I mentioned
above that I took a forced two month hiatus from running. Well, two
months became five months as I struggled with my physical heart
issues; but after the stressful life situations settled down, my
heart problems lessened. There were no more excuses except that
sometimes starting over simply seems overwhelming. When a runner
stops running for as long as I did, it's a sure thing that there is
no way to pick it back up and immediately run a 10k again; but I
mentally prepared myself for that reality.
My
first run in September was barely a mile. It was a hard, laborious,
painful mile. I was discouraged, but God hadn't helped me patch the
holes in my ship just to sink again. I kept going. One mile became a
mile and a half. Two miles was fairly easy. Three miles was much
harder than two but was reachable. Four miles kicked my backside, but
I awoke the next day realizing it hadn't killed me. Five miles looked
as scary as a ship in winter navigating around icebergs. I prayed.
God gave me strength. The five miles came and went. Surprise! I
didn't sink.
Step
4: Learn sometimes the journey matters more than finding the buried
treasure at the end of the map. Seriously. Finding joy and
contentment in the midst of the journey is the most important
discovery you can make. Always chasing happiness and money and always
being dissatisfied with your place in life will only lead to a life
of tired, ship sinking failure.
I'm
still trying to learn how to rely on God more than myself for things
I need and don't understand. I'm learning that money doesn't do you
any good if the job that supplies it sucks away all of your joy. Most
importantly, I'm learning to be satisfied with where I am in life,
achieve the small goals before me, and know that I will reach that
half marathon eventually, if that goal indeed is part of the journey.
My
message is simple. Ask for directions before you chart your map.
Sail. If you lose your way, look to the Father for guidance. He
already knows where you're going anyway. Patch holes. Bail water.
Sail again.
Key
scripture for the path of sailing (or running) on your journey:
"Trust
in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own
understanding; in all your ways submit to Him and He will make your
paths straight." - Proverbs 3:5,6
"So
do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your
God. I will strengthen you and help you, I will uphold you with my
righteous right hand." - Isaiah 41:10
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